{"id":1352,"date":"2014-11-20T14:15:46","date_gmt":"2014-11-20T19:15:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.missiondiscovery.org\/?p=1352"},"modified":"2022-03-28T13:21:12","modified_gmt":"2022-03-28T17:21:12","slug":"my-life-redeemed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.missiondiscovery.org\/news\/my-life-redeemed\/","title":{"rendered":"MY LIFE: REDEEMED"},"content":{"rendered":"

I thought I was safe. It was the Mission Discovery banquet last September. I had spent hours setting up the sound system, strategically placing the speakers the right distance apart and positioning the sound board in the farthest, darkest corner of the room\u2026 behind the bar. The strategy of every sound person in any event is to place as many objects between them and the stage as possible. We like to hide. It was there that the overwhelming presence of God pressed into me so violently that tears turned to rivers running down my cheeks.<\/p>\n

Benji Cowart is a songwriter in Nashville, and a Worship Leader for Mission Discovery. A while back he wrote a song called \u201cI Am Redeemed\u201d. My first time hearing this song was the night of the banquet. Each word sank deeply into my soul as he poured his heart out on that stage. The safety of my knobs and buttons melted away as he sang the brutally redemptive lyrics. I was arrested by God.<\/p>\n

One of the most challenging questions for followers of Christ is this, \u201cIf God is so loving, and all powerful, why does He let bad things happen to good or innocent people?\u201d<\/p>\n

It was early August 1994 when my sisters and I woke up not realizing how different life had become. The events of the previous night would come to define our childhood, and shape our adulthood. Nothing could have prepared our hearts for the announcement our grandmother would make after she turned off the 6 o\u2019clock news that night.<\/p>\n

The day was strange. Relatives and friends seemed to be flooding my grandparent\u2019s house with different casseroles and pies. My uncle Doug played baseball with me in the back yard for what seemed like hours. People were paying attention to us kids. Like an abnormal amount of attention. Even at 9 years old I could tell that something wasn\u2019t right.<\/p>\n

The night before, my parents had gone out to a party. It was a late one and somehow, on their way home, they ended up in a neighborhood they weren\u2019t familiar with. The mid-90s was not a time in history that you wanted to be trotting around Richmond, VA in unknown territory, as my parents would soon find out. It was around 4:30 in the morning when a couple of kids approached the car in an effort to sell some drugs to my parents. When they refused all Hell broke loose.<\/p>\n

The kids, armed with sawed off shotguns, opened fire on my parents. Relentlessly. My father was struck 17 times and survived. He is a real life super hero. My mother took her last breath in pain and confusion that night. And the world has been a vacuum ever since.<\/p>\n

The hospital bills bankrupted us. We didn\u2019t have what a lot of the other kids at school had\u2026 cable, a home phone, money for Christmas. If it wasn\u2019t for people at my grandparent\u2019s church we wouldn\u2019t have had Christmas that year. I guess that is a reason activism is so important to me, because the Church has made a difference in my life in a real and tangible way. It was about that time that we, as a family, started going to church.<\/p>\n

I became dependent on my grandmother in an unhealthy way. I dreaded the day I would lose her. I was often overcome by fear to the point I would break down in tears thinking about her death. I would cry myself to sleep over something that hadn\u2019t happened yet, but it wasn\u2019t long before it did. I remember asking the paramedics if she would be ok. They couldn\u2019t answer, but the look on their faces gave me little hope. She had fallen from the fourth step carrying groceries with nothing to break the fall but her head, and concrete isn\u2019t forgiving. She died two weeks later. Her husband, my grandfather lasted a few months without her, then passed away in his bed.<\/p>\n

Lost and aimless, my middle school years were cloudy and my eyes were empty. I was alive, but I felt like a slug\u2026 squishy, slimy, and just waiting for that next batch of salt to send me into convulsions. I was too young for all of this. But is there really a right time?<\/p>\n

So we are back to that challenging question, \u201cIf God is so loving and powerful and really cares about me, why would he allow these things to happen?\u201d I think this is the wrong question to ask. When things start to pile up in my life and all is lost and hopeless the question isn\u2019t, \u201cWhy me?\u201d The question is, \u201cDo I TRUST God?\u201d The scriptures say that God has a plan for me, and it\u2019s good. They say that His ways and thoughts are higher than mine. They challenge me to trust Him and acknowledge that my understanding is flawed. My way of thinking is incomplete so I should lean into Him, not run from Him. God pursues us, He redeems us, and He will stop at NOTHING.<\/p>\n

If you look at the events of my past, it doesn\u2019t take long to realize I shouldn\u2019t be where I am today. Like in the same way A plus B doesn\u2019t equal \u201cJellyfish\u201d, my life doesn\u2019t add up and the only answer that can be given to account for what has become of me is redemption. So when I say I was arrested by God while Benji was singing that night, I mean I became speechless, couldn\u2019t function, and buried my head into the mechanics of that sound board. I was overwhelmed by something that was real, and unearthly. It was God. That song is my life.<\/p>\n

\n

Paul says, \u201cHe who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.\u201d (\u202dPhilippians\u202c \u202d1\u202c:\u202d6\u202c NIV)<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

We are all on a journey. Sometimes it\u2019s more unbearable than bearable. It\u2019s painful, and bloody. None of us get out unscathed. We are all prone to failure and defeat. We are broken and hurt. Remember Benji\u2019s lyrics, \u201cWhen I hear you whisper, Child lift up your head, I remember oh God your\u2019re not done with me yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

God is not done with me. He\u2019s not done with you. He is working. The question is: Do you trust Him?<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":1353,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[46],"tags":[71,72],"yoast_head":"\nMY LIFE: REDEEMED - Mission Discovery<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.missiondiscovery.org\/news\/my-life-redeemed\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"MY LIFE: REDEEMED - Mission Discovery\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.missiondiscovery.org\/news\/my-life-redeemed\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Mission Discovery\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/misdistrips\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2014-11-20T19:15:46+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-03-28T17:21:12+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.missiondiscovery.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Staff-pic-banquet-2014.jpeg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2000\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Mission Discovery\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@misdistrips\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@misdistrips\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Mission Discovery\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.missiondiscovery.org\/news\/my-life-redeemed\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.missiondiscovery.org\/news\/my-life-redeemed\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Mission Discovery\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.missiondiscovery.org\/#\/schema\/person\/f3cc701f82d824aa0aac407d42374e05\"},\"headline\":\"MY LIFE: REDEEMED\",\"datePublished\":\"2014-11-20T19:15:46+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-03-28T17:21:12+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.missiondiscovery.org\/news\/my-life-redeemed\/\"},\"wordCount\":1200,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.missiondiscovery.org\/#organization\"},\"keywords\":[\"Nashville\",\"Tennessee\"],\"articleSection\":[\"News\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.missiondiscovery.org\/news\/my-life-redeemed\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.missiondiscovery.org\/news\/my-life-redeemed\/\",\"name\":\"MY LIFE: REDEEMED - 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