When I was asked to give a “Devotional Thought” to a group of my peers, I hyperventilated just a little. My life as a young mom is nothing more than crowd control and diaper changing. What would I say? My peers are much wiser than me. I haven’t had a quiet time in weeks! I need to be the one listening to them! But I wondered if God would speak to me anymore. I wondered if I was listening. Being hopeful that He would talk and scared He wouldn’t, I decided to take on the challenge.

I waited for days and nothing happened. Nothing drew me, moved me, or seemed to shake me at all. There was no scripture reference that descended like a dove. At church, the question was posed…What makes you feel alive? I pondered for days. What makes me feel alive? When have I felt the most alive? What do I think it would take to feel alive? And all I got was depressed.

One night I was getting my little girl ready for bed. I laid her in the crib, and she fussed…big time! She kicked and screamed! She was so mad at me. I just watched…right above her thinking, “You’re so tired. Just give it up!” After a few minutes, I scooped her up and jokingly said, “Oh, Baby B. It’s ok. I have not left you or forsaken you.” I held her close and waited until she was calm, then laid her back down. Within minutes, she was resting peacefully.

And it came to me… God, you do that sometimes, don’t you. You stand back, heart aching, knowing that the best thing for us at that moment is the struggle. And though we feel alone, defeated, and dead in our spirit, you are never far away. Then, at the right time, you scoop us up, hold us close, and whisper gently, “Oh sweet child, I have not left you or forsaken you.”

I thought over those questions from church again: What makes me feel alive? When have I felt the most alive? Many events came to mind…family moves when I was a teenager, mission trips, graduation from college, my wedding day, the days my girls were born. But then also the day my husband lost his job, the day his dad passed away, the day my dad had open heart surgery. I realized that it wasn’t only the awesome days that made me feel alive, it was the days that I was most in tune to His presence…the days that I didn’t WONDER if He was still talking to me anymore. They were days that I EXPECTED to hear from Him.

In the book Experience God, the first point is “God is always at work around you.” I knew that, but in the hustle and bustle of life, I had forgotten. I had forgotten that He pursues a continuing love relationship with me that is real and personal…that He still SPEAKS, and if we hope and EXPECT to hear from Him, He will not disappoint.

So now I ask you…

What makes you feel alive?

When have you felt the most alive?

What do you think it would take to feel alive?

Day 1 of 4 from 2013 Mission Discovery Devotional